Leaving Never Land

I’ve been noticing a trend lately when talking with my lady friends, and it involves you guys.  Don’t get excited; this fad is one you should strive to not be a part of.  More and more women are complaining to me about how the grown men they’re dating are acting like little boys, and since most single ladies I know don’t currently want to have a kid, they sure as hell don’t want to date one.  You might not even realize that some of your child-like tendencies are sending the ladies running, but hopefully this article will give you insight on how to act like a grown up.

There are a few terms for this phenomenon my friends are complaining about, with Peter Pan Syndrome at the top of the list.  It’s easy to understand how a man-child can form, as our generation is full of people who go away to college or “the real world” and then wind up living back with mom and dad for a few months, a few years or longer.  I’m not knocking those who go this route, because oftentimes it’s the only way to get yourself back on your feet in a harsh economy.  What I am knocking are those guys who take this opportunity to revert back to their high school selves, with no end in sight.

You know the type I’m talking about – completely content to live on mommy and daddy’s money (and couch) while staying up late to play video games, drink beer and order pizza.  Basically, those that are living a college existence long after shedding that cap and gown.  It sounds like the dream life but if you’re still doing this (and only this) while all the women your age are moving into apartments or condos and filling out 401(k) forms, you might need to wake up.  Don’t get me wrong – I love video games, beer and pizza as much as anyone, but pulling all nighters to play Madden 2011 isn’t exactly conducive to a having a stable job.  Also, it’s not easy to convince a grown woman that it’s cool for her to come back to your place as long as she waits until your parents have gone to bed.

What’s with this avoidance of growing up?  As I mentioned, in this day and age it’s understandable if you’re having a hard time getting your career started right after college.  The stigma usually associated with unemployment or underemployment isn’t necessarily there right now but that doesn’t mean you don’t have to try.  If you’re just kind of coasting along with no real goals or ambition, you’re not going to be an attractive dating prospect.  Hate to sound harsh, but it’s a tough world out there.

So how can you still land a date when you can’t land a job?  This is where that ambition thing comes back into play.  If you’re really putting forth effort into advancing yourself, even if you aren’t getting much of a paycheck, it shows your character.  Volunteering while job searching is a good way to give something back and it also helps you feel a bit more worthwhile (especially if your days mostly consist of watching Judge Judy and Family Feud).  Lending your time and talent to a needy friend or organization could also help further your career and even if it doesn’t, practice never hurts.  Beyond that, just be upfront with any girl you’re trying to date.  You’ll come across a lot better if you admit you’re struggling but trying to come out on top rather than lying about what’s really going on.

You don’t have to be a Rockefeller to impress the ladies; you just have to be a little self-sufficient.  At some point you need to cut that umbilical cord and become a man.  If you’re already there then more power to you – if you need some help then consider this a kick in the ass.  It might not be easy to put down the bong and Doritos but do what you have to do.  Unless you want your mother to always be the only woman in your life, that is.

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