Baby I Want Your Number
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To tell or not to tell – that is the question. You might think it’s a good idea to share every little detail of your sexuality with your current lady but that might not always be the case. Coming clean about the STD you picked up in college or the kinky fetish you’ve always had will help your relationship become one based on trust but there are some things you just might not want to know. Case in point: The Number.
A University of Alberta professor of psychology conducted a study in the late ‘90’s regarding reported sexual partners in men and women. He found that, on average, men add a few to their list of conquests while women tend to shave a few off. I don’t really think that’s surprising, given how society reacts to a woman with some notches on her bedpost. That said, if you ask someone how many sexual partners they’ve had, you should be prepared for an honest answer.
Men like to think that they’re the only guy their current lover has ever had. Sorry to burst your bubble boys, but chances are she was getting freaky before she even knew your name. A common mistake that many men make is putting the pussy on a pedestal; try to avoid this at all costs. If you build your woman up and give her virgin-like qualities, you’re going to be disappointed even if she hasn’t slept around. She may act chaste but even virgins have a past. Besides that, putting the pussy on a pedestal always backfires, even when it has nothing to do with the number of partners who have been pleasured.
If you’re ballsy enough to ask your woman how many people she’s slept with and you get an answer, at least everything’s out in the open and you don’t have to worry about surprises popping up down the road (unless her number inflates while you’re dating – then you might have a problem). Be warned though, it could be an ego blow if you learn she’s slept with more people than you have. It might be even worse if she’s bedded more women than you. You can ask one of my ex’s about that.
One danger in knowing her number is that you might involuntarily envision her with every guy she’s ever looked at and that could just about drive you crazy. On the other hand, you might go crazy if you don’t know her number because then it’s easier to imagine her having wild orgies or running a train with the high school football team. Catch 22, right? Not necessarily.
If you don’t want to know, don’t ask. It’s really pretty simple. If she tries to tell you anyway stick your fingers in your ears and hum It’s a Small World as loud as you can. If you’re really not comfortable knowing everyone she’s done the deed with then you should tell her that it would be better for both of you to leave it unknown. Then leave it at that. If you do decide to ask then you should be prepared for whatever she says and understand that it’s not at all fair to judge her for her past. Everyone has a sexual history and it takes a real man to be comfortable enough to understand that. Besides, she’s with you now and that’s all that should really matter. And if you make a big deal of things or give her grief for what happened before you were together, she might not be with you for very long.
As tricky as handling this conversation is, The Number is a topic that could very well come up so it’s best to be prepared (remember that scene about blow jobs from Clerks?). It’s not always easy for people to be truthful about this but if everyone is mature and understanding then hopefully it won’t cause World War III. What happened in the past is history and if you’re working towards a future with someone then that stuff shouldn’t really matter. And if your girlfriend has slept with more women than you have…well, maybe she can give you some tips.
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